Archive for March, 2010

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Tower Madness

March 27, 2010

Tower Madness, if you don’t know, is an app for the iPod touch/iPhone.  Almost everyone I know has one of the aforementioned items, so I though I might do a post on an app and what I thought about it.

Tower Madness is a 3D tower defense game designed by Limbic Software.

First, the good stuff.

It’s pretty darn fun.  It must make me release a ton of “dopamine” because I like it quite a bit.  The idea is pretty original (seriously, who would have thought of killing aliens who are trying to abduct your sheep to make scarves for their Almighty Emperor? Definitely not me, I’m pretty brain-dead when it comes up with trying to think of creative stuff.) and the graphics are also pretty darn good for a five megabyte game.

The rail guns are by far my favorite guns in that game.  Rail guns are just awesome in general.  I mean, come on, who wouldn’t like a weapon that accelerates a projectile at Mach 7 and penetrates through something thick a hundred miles away? If we had that kind of firepower at our disposal that could be moved around, wars would definitely be a lot less messy.

The enemy’s route is adjustable.  You can place towers in the enemy’s way, adjusting the route that the enemy waves have to take.  You can make them take a really complicated zigzag route all around the map, which gives you more time to kill them.  Of course, this only applies to the maps which are open field.  The others do have set routes.

You can zoom in and zoom out, which really helps seeing how ugly the aliens are and how awesome your guns look up close.

The bad stuff.

It’s really battery draining.  It drains your battery at least five times faster than if you’re listening to music or something.  This is probably due to the fact that it’s a 3D game.

Supposedly, you can rotate as well as zoom in and out because it’s 3D.  I have not yet figured out how to do this yet (maybe it’s just because I’m dumb or something), which is kind of depressing because I want a better angle of my game.

Nothing else, really.

Right now, the full version is free on iTunes.  Free version means no ads (yay!).

Try it out!

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What’s in the future?

March 26, 2010

So, right now, I’m in high school.  And so are you, unless you’re a legal adult reading this or are someone younger.   That’s very convoluted.  Let me reword that.  Basically, you’re currently reading this and you are in high school unless you’re not in high school.  There, that was a lot more simple.  A lot of high schoolers stop at this point in life and start stressing themselves about what will happen in the future: a college education, and a job.

Everyone wants a good job, right? Good, high-paying job.  Reasonable expectations for someone who wants to lead a comfortable life.  However, I’ve been thinking about this.  Personally, I don’t like to be stressed.  Who likes stress?  Workaholics? I highly doubt any of you enjoy being stressed.  “Oh, the wonders of stress! It makes you feel so worked up about whatever you’re doing!” Yeah, like anyone would ever say that.  If you would, you have some serious effing problems.

I like to be loose, I don’t enjoy being up tight about everything.  Which is kind of why my backpack is so screwed up, I guess.  Or maybe it’s just because I’m lazy.

Anyways, so right now, we’re all trying to get amazingly good grades and stressing ourselves in the process.  Let’s ask ourselves, WHY THE HELL?

Answer: We want to get into good colleges and continue our educations.

OK, so we’re stressing ourselves out right now for the privilege of stressing ourselves out even more in the future.

Let’s ask ourselves, why do we want to get into a good college? Exactly just why do we want to get into Harvard or Berkeley or Stanford or wherever the hell you want to go?

Answer? So we can get high-paying jobs in the fields that interest us and ourselves.  That’s logical, right?

And just what do high-paying jobs do to us? They make us comfortable? Um, ha.  They make us ill-humored, stressed-out parents that are pissed off a lot of the time and people that laugh at our own extremely lame jokes.

So we’re currently stressing ourselves out for the privilege of stressing ourselves out in the future at college so we can stress ourselves out when we get a high-paying job that makes us boring people.

My my, the world is screwed up.

Why don’t we just get jobs in Hawaii or somewhere nice as a tour guide that pays enough to keep you alive? Enjoy life as you have it, make an impact on yourself and the others around you by keeping yourself happy.  Why stress yourself so you can stress yourself so you can stress yourself, over and over again?

Maybe you’ll find a high-paying job that’s not stressful and you actually like and is pretty awesome, like…

Can you think of anything? Because I really am coming up empty at this point.

Not as if I’m going to be getting a job as a tour guide in Hawaii though.  It’d be nice, but I still want money.  Money makes the world go round, and I want more of it.  So I’ll try to get into Harvard or Princeton or Berkeley or Caltech or Stanford or whichever college I feel like I want to  attempt to go to.  And then I’ll try to get a high-paying job.

Just because I keep talking about high school being stressful doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m stressful at the moment.  I’m very relaxed.  High school so far has been just like middle school – don’t try and still get decent grades.  However, I actually have to pay a tiny bit more attention in class.

So yeah, there’s my spiel on what the hell might just happen to our futures.

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Other drinks

March 25, 2010

So I’ve talked about soda and coffee, two of the most important drinks in the history of the human race.  However, some sports drinks are also quite awesome.

Such as Gatorade.  Gatorade is pretty much the best tasting sports drink ever.  It’s sweet, hydrating, and doesn’t leave a horrible aftertaste.  Apparently, Gatorade is an extremely good drink to drink when you’re sick.  It has the perfect mixture of salt, sugar, and other stuff.

Propel is also pretty good.  I’d say it’s almost as good as Gatorade.  Definitely not as sweet, but it still tastes really nice.  The flavors are more diluted than in Gatorade but still easy to detect.  The only thing I hate about it is the fact that some flavors leave an aftertaste that tastes like barf.  Might just be me though.

I hate G2.  What does G2 stand for? Gatorade 2? Generation 2? It’s horrible.  I hate it.  It’s like Gatorade except with an excess of salt, a shortage of sugar, and the flavors suck.

Plain water is great.  However, I hate it when they add all those minerals to make it taste “better.”  It certainly tastes more interesting, but all I get is a slightly bitter taste.  It’s definitely a lot more interesting to drink than plain water.

Sparkling water.  One of the nastiest things I’ve ever tasted.  Especially that brand that adds some “flavor” to it.  I got it once, thinking it’d be alright and better than diet Sierra Mist.  Ho boy, have I ever been more wrong.  It’s got so much stuff that makes it nasty it’s just amazing:

  1. Minerals.  That bitter taste is just horrible.  I think it had salt too.  It’s as if they were like, “Oh, this drink is already crappy.  Let’s just crap it up even more by adding a shit load of salt and completely kill their taste buds.”
  2. The carbonation.  Combined with the minerals, it left a taste of bitter minerals in my mouth way longer than it should have.
  3. The super weak flavor.  The taste of the minerals and salt completely overrode the flavor.
  4. The absence of sugar.  If you’re going to have a flavored drink, add sugar.  Idiots.

Lemonade is good.  It’s my favorite juice.  Then apple juice…

Milk is only good, in my opinion, if it goes with either cookies or brownies.  Otherwise it’s just mediocre.  Brownies… I’m making myself hungry.

So, that’s the summary of my opinion on various drinks.

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Soda and Coffee

March 24, 2010

Two drinks that are amazing.  According to some.  According to others, they’re complete bullshit (don’t listen to those people because they’re just haters).

My favorite is Sprite.  Coca-Cola is great, but I’ve kind of lost my taste for it due to my dad drinking only one soda: Diet Coke.  And Diet Coke is nasty.  It’s like Coca-Cola, except less sweet.  Totally ruined my taste for Coca-Cola.  Mountain Dew is awesome.  Tastes hella sweet.  Apparently one can of it has as much caffeine as half a cup of coffee.  And it’s supposed to have an ungodly amount of sugar.  Mm…. sugar.

I like coffee.  I like those bottled frappuccinos the most though.  Those are great.  They leave this strange burnt-coffee-bean aftertaste though.  But it tastes so good.

For some reason, caffeine has absolutely no effect on me.  Seriously, I can drink a couple of cans of Mountain Dew right before I go to sleep and not wake up until the morning.  I’ve done that before.  Some people get super high off of caffeine.  You guys know it’s a drug, right? It’s highly addictive.  Makes you feel active.  And the more you drink it, the “higher” you feel.  Only with caffeine, the “high” just makes you feel hyper.  Spazzy.  Kind of like some people I know.  Caffeine also has less effect on you the more you take it every day.  It’s called tolerance.  You also get more tolerant of marijuana (pronounced mari-ju-ahna, or marihuana if you want to be uncreative) and alcohol and all types of other drugs.  You need more of it to get high.

Without caffeine, avid coffee drinkers have low brain activity compared to normal non-coffee-drinkers.  It’s all in some study.  I’m sure it’s on Google.  It’s like… a permanent crash.  A caffeine “down.”

The only effect coffee has on me is that I need to take a piss fifteen minutes after I drink it.  Only if it’s freshly made though.  Happens every time I drink fresh made coffee, no joke.  It’s a source of annoyance to my parents and anyone driving me after I drink coffee.  I remember a trip to Northstar (ski resort) once…

At hotel.  Drink frappuccino.
On the road.
“I HAVE TO PEE!”
“HERE?! WE’RE ON THE HIGHWAY!!!”
“BUT I HAVE TO PEE!!”

So if you’re driving me, do not let me drink any fresh coffee before we take off.  Or during.

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Some Things Just Don’t Mix

March 22, 2010

NOTICE: EVERYTHING IN THIS POST, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IS TRUE.  FACT.  100% NON FICTION.

Some things just really do not mix.  Such as Indiana Jones and snakes.  And me and hunks of pure cheese.  Ugh.

Two other things that just don’t mix are boy scouts and nuclear reactors.  This is a bit before the current teenagers’ time, but you might know this name: David Hahn.

He was a teenager, quite a bit troubled, who was obsessed with science, particularly chemistry.  His idols were the discoverers of radium, whom both died from overexposure to radioactive materials.  Looking at his face now, he might just follow the same fate.  Google “David Hahn.”  I jumped out of my socks the first time I did.

Anyways, he was extremely smart and often lectured his biology class at the request of his teacher.  Like I said, obsessed with science.  One of his pet projects was collecting every element on the periodic table.  Even the extremely dangerous ones such as Sodium.  Which reacts violently with water.

David was introduced to nuclear stuff when he needed the nuclear energy badge to be an Eagle Scout or something.  Essentially, he needed the badge.  So he got information on nuclear reactors and was extremely interested.

He decided he wanted to build his own little model breeder reactor.  A breeder reactor is essentially a nuclear reactor which produces the fuel it needs to run itself with, while producing massive amounts of energy.

Each breeder reactor, to date, if I’m correct, ended unsuccessfully and often in disaster.

As we all do with the things we do, Hahn decided that there wouldn’t be a chance that he’d be making the same mistakes and proceeded.

He started to build his model, which consisted of a lead gun which “shot” particles and decayed a block of another radioactive hunk of element.  Why he decided to do this, I’ll never know.

He hit rock bottom by stealing money to afford materials for his experiment.

When the radiation from his experiment got out of control, he stuffed it in his car trunk.  And sat there, until the police arrested him, suspecting that  it was an atomic bomb of some sort.

Of course, it wasn’t, but it was still dangerous.

This guy was a genius.  He’ll probably die early of overexposure from radioactivity though (see picture).  He joined the navy.  Came back.  Started stealing smoke alarms to get a radioactive element from them, for some other strange, potentially dangerous experiment.

And this is why boy scouts and  nuclear reactors don’t mix.

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Tans

March 18, 2010

That’s right, boys, girls, and hermaphrodites, this post is about tans.

“Why?” you ask.

Well, because apparently Tuesday was Tell Patrick How Tan He Is Day.  I got about fifty people telling me how I look like an Indian and how I’m as dark as an Indian.  I also got this remark about how I look like I was baked or something.  Um… thanks?

I’m Chinese.

So I’m a Chinese person as tan as an Indian…?

Sure, whatever steams your rice.  Also, I was getting a lot of remarks (mostly by girls) following this train of thought: “Oh, I wish I was as tan as you.”

Is being tan really that desirable? Go sunbathe.  Or swim for two hours a day.

What I don’t get is why people go to such lengths to get unnatural tans.  Tanning beds.  Really? You people know those are known to release things that cause cancer, right? And why would you want to spend hours in a little coffin-shaped thing? That’d be enough to give me claustrophobia.

Spray-on tans? I hate spray-on sunscreen.  Enough said regarding sprays.

I’m too lazy to put on sunscreen.  Also, I see no reason why I should wear sunscreen.  I’ve only gotten a sunburn once in my life, and that was when I spent about six hours on the beach sleeping.  With no sunscreen.  Also, I don’t like the way it makes this really nasty, oily layer on top of the water when I get in.

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The Donner School

March 1, 2010

There’s two things I want to draw your attention to in the title, the first of which is “Donner.”  Ring any bells? If not, you really need to brush up on your history.  The Donner Party is a group that was traveling to California, because that’s where all the legit stuff was happening (Gold Rush, yah!) and hit some hard times on the way over.  They got trapped by a snowstorm at Donner Pass and a group of 15 people set out to seek help.  They soon ran out of food and as each person died, they ate him or her.  Lovely images, right?  The second thing: “school.”  If you have any type of knowledge, you’d know that a school means a group of fish.  Now that I’ve told you that, you might (or might not) have successfully guessed that “The Donner School” refers to cannibalistic fish.  Yum.

Anyways, I caught some fish some time ago, maybe two or three years, and put them into my fish tank.  Twenty fish were there.  The first couple of days went by without incident.  Then, as I was watching them swim around, I saw a group of about four fish clustered at the bottom of the tank.  What were they doing? Hm… eating a fish that had died at sunk to the bottom.  Apparently they didn’t like my fish food and prefer to eat each other.  Blech.  Needless to say, this continued.  Until all my fish died.