Archive for March 18th, 2010

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Tans

March 18, 2010

That’s right, boys, girls, and hermaphrodites, this post is about tans.

“Why?” you ask.

Well, because apparently Tuesday was Tell Patrick How Tan He Is Day.  I got about fifty people telling me how I look like an Indian and how I’m as dark as an Indian.  I also got this remark about how I look like I was baked or something.  Um… thanks?

I’m Chinese.

So I’m a Chinese person as tan as an Indian…?

Sure, whatever steams your rice.  Also, I was getting a lot of remarks (mostly by girls) following this train of thought: “Oh, I wish I was as tan as you.”

Is being tan really that desirable? Go sunbathe.  Or swim for two hours a day.

What I don’t get is why people go to such lengths to get unnatural tans.  Tanning beds.  Really? You people know those are known to release things that cause cancer, right? And why would you want to spend hours in a little coffin-shaped thing? That’d be enough to give me claustrophobia.

Spray-on tans? I hate spray-on sunscreen.  Enough said regarding sprays.

I’m too lazy to put on sunscreen.  Also, I see no reason why I should wear sunscreen.  I’ve only gotten a sunburn once in my life, and that was when I spent about six hours on the beach sleeping.  With no sunscreen.  Also, I don’t like the way it makes this really nasty, oily layer on top of the water when I get in.

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