OK so I actually talk about indigestion now but it’s kind of disgusting

August 29, 2011

Where’d I leave off? Insane traffic, right? Yeah, OK.

So anyways.  We went to Chongqing, relative and his new wife picked us up, we went in some taxis to our hotel, blah blah blah.  Then we went down the hotel elevator to some place.  The place – it’s indescribable.  I literally have no word that encompasses its pure insanity.

Basically, it’s like a mall, except each shop is a restaurant.  And each restaurant is about the size of my living room – not much room.  And yet they somehow cram like a dozen tables in there.  Chinese people are just really really good at squeezing large things into small spaces.  No innuendo intended.

There were so many restaurants it was amazing.  Like fifty gazillion per floor.  And there were something like eight floors or so.  Anyways, we stopped by at this small noodle shop that had 6 (not exaggerating) people cooking in a kitchen half the size of my room.  Take note that my room isn’t big at all.  So we ordered noodles (of course), some spicy, some not-so-spicy-because-my-brother-can’t-eat-spicy-food-or-any-food-at-all.

The hygiene of the restaurant was extremely questionable.  The tables were sticky with oil.  I certainly didn’t see a certificate saying the restaurant was inspected or anything like you’d see here in ‘merica.

The next morning, I discovered exactly why hygiene in restaurants is so important.  So people don’t get sick, right? I guess this is where you go Ohmigosh he got sick! Yeah, I did.  Warning: If you have a weak stomach/are disgusted easily (even if you aren’t, you’ll maybe probably almost definitely be disgusted by this), skip to the next paragraph.  You have been warned.  I woke up in the morning, took a dump, except the dump felt extremely un-solid.  Yeah, I had diarrhea.  For ~72 hours.  Shitting water.  Continuously.  F M FREAKING L.

OK, moving past indigestion, we went to see the parents of the relative who picked us up.  There, we had our first home-made non-breakfast (because breakfast is freaking lame and is definitely not the most important meal of the day).  It was really good! Of course it was.  It was Chinese food.

Anyways, the mom of the relative (I’ll call him Bob from now on and his wife Sue) was telling us how Bob and Sue met.  Bob’s mom went to a gathering of moms of singles in the neighborhood carrying a sign.  On the sign was listed the requirements that each mom set for their child’s future spouse.  So they waved their signs around vigorously, and if they found a mom with a possibly suitable candidate, they would be all “Hey, your child looks sexy.  I think my child wants a piece of that.”  and they’d exchange phone numbers.  Then, the parents would interview the child of the other parent to see if they actually were good enough for their tastes.

If the child was deemed suitable, the children would then talk to each other and bond over the phone.

China's version of online dating.

And then, they would finally meet.  And then they would marry like two days later or something.  I don’t even know.

Also, did I mention that Bob was easily six feet? Yeah.  Definitely the tallest Chinese person I have ever met in person.  So.  Freaking.  Tall.

Besides Bob though, I felt pretty tall in China.  =p


One comment

  1. very interesting post for the trip. now I feel like know a lot about China.

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